


No Longer the Same

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Breakup, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 11:25:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11782146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	No Longer the Same

As she stepped through the doorframe and pulled off her coat, the sleeve hit a picture frame, knocking it to the floor. She heard the glass shatter and crunch beneath her leather boots as she spun around in a panic. Every nerve was raw - each tiny nerve ending fraying underneath the incredible predicament she found herself in.

When she’d first laid her eyes on Will, she assumed there would never be anyone else in the world for her, and yet her she stood, struggling after nearly a year with underlying feels for her best friend. When had her life become such a mess? She had a child with Will; was she going to separate Henry from his father to take a chance on a relationship with Spencer? How could she do that? 

It pained her to say, or even think, but she’d fallen out of love with Will. She still loved him; she always would. He was the father of her child. But she wasn’t in love with him anymore, and she hadn’t been for nearly a year. 

After Emily had “died,” Spencer came to her each and every day for almost three months crying about missing his friend. It had killed her to stand by and say nothing while he suffered, knowing the truth about everything, but she’d been ordered to say nothing, and had abided by those rules. 

When she came back and the truth had sunk in - that she had been lying to him - the look in his eyes broke her. Utter betrayal had been mixed with overwhelming sadness and just a little bit of guilt that he couldn’t let it go and be grateful that his friend was alive and well. At that point, she’d done everything in her power to earn his forgiveness, and she had, but somehow in that time, her feelings had altered. First, he was no longer just her best friend that she wanted to comfort, she had developed a bit of a crush, but had assumed, like most would considering she was married, that it was just a passing phase and would go away soon. But it hadn’t. It had only strengthened over the course of the year and she had no idea what to do about it - until now. She had to say something to Spencer. If she could figure out if he felt anything like what she was feeling, then at least she might know where to go from there. If he didn’t feel the same way then she could turn her attention toward Will and see if he felt like they’d been drifting apart and if they could fix this.

At the very least, she needed to voice her feelings to Spencer. Even if nothing came of her confession. Henry was at a friend’s house and Will was working a late night, so she texted Spencer to let him know she was coming over and needed to talk. A year of pent up emotions has been enough; she needed them out - one way or another.

—-

“JJ, hi,” Spencer said, a smile painting its way across his face as he opened the door. “You said you needed to talk. Are you okay?”

The way he smiled at her, with his whole face - his eyes sparkling - it gave her butterflies. “Yes and no,” she replied honestly.

After inviting her in, she sat on the couch while he grabbed them both a glass of water, which was good because her mouth had gone dry. Here she was, taken for the last five years with a four-year-old to show for it, and yet she was about to confess to her best friend that she’d fallen in love with him. She swallowed hard before taking a sip of the water and trying to compose herself. 

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked. He placed his hand on her shoulder, making her simultaneously comforted and more on edge. 

Slowly, she turned to him and bit her lip. “I don’t know where to start,” she breathed, feeling like she was about ready to vomit. “Spence, I…”

“You what, JJ?” He asked. “You’re freaking me out.”

“For the past year or so, I’ve fallen out of love with Will,” she said quickly, continuing to talk over him as he expressed his confusion and sorrow for her. “And in love with you. Spence, I’m in love with you.” Even though she couldn’t read his face with all of the thoughts muddled in her head and even though she had no idea how he felt in return, she felt lighter for having gotten her thoughts out. 

Spencer’s mind was running a mile a minute. She could sense it. “How? Why? I don’t understand. I…”

“I don’t know how or when or why,” JJ said quickly. “It happened sometime after Emily came back and you hated my guts for lying to you. Somewhere between me begging for your forgiveness and you doing it.” The tears filled her eyes as she realized what she was saying and the weight of it - his impending reply heavy on her heart. “I just know that it happened and I needed you to know, whether you felt the same way or not.”

Spencer moved in close to her and grabbed her hand gently, giving it a squeeze as he bit his lip. “I’ve always loved you JJ,” he breathed. “Always. But what’s supposed to happen now?”

“When you say you’ve always loved me, do you mean as more than your best friend?”

He gave her an almost imperceptible nod. “Yes.”

“Then I have things I need to talk about with Will,” she replied. As she composed herself and started to get up, Spencer softly grasped her chin and turned her to face him, brushing his lips up against hers just slightly. JJ felt a slight spark make its way through the madness of this whole situation. “I’ll call you soon. I have to…I have to talk to Will, I-”

“I understand. Take your time. I never thought you’d feel this way about me, so frankly I need a little time to digest the information myself.” And with that, she gave him a hopeful smile and walked out, dreading the upcoming conversation with the father of her child and the man she thought she’d love forever.

—-

By the time Will got home that night, he was too tired to talk, so she’d waited, and an entire week went by before she had both the opportunity and the courage to talk to Will.

“Will, we need to talk,” she said quickly, turning around from the kitchen counter with her hands at her sides, slapping at her thighs because she couldn’t figure out what else to do with them. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it. I don’t know when or why it happened, but…” This was too hard.

“I know, JJ,” he said somberly. “I’ve been feeling it too.”

“What?”

“You and I…” he stammered. “We’re not the same anymore. I love you…I just, I’m not in love.”

“Neither am I,” JJ replied solemnly. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

“Me either. But it happened.” His smile took off guard at first, but then she was put at ease. He felt the same way. “We’ll always be there for Henry.”

“Always. I love you. I always will.” Another wave of tears crested behind her eyes, and when Will kissed her forehead and told her it was going to be okay, they fell to the floor. 

For a few moments, they stood in the middle of the kitchen, swaying back and forth and contemplating where their paths had forked apart. “I know you will,” he said. “And I’ll always love you, but we need to go our separate ways. Henry doesn’t deserve to be kept in the middle purely because we’re his parents.” 

JJ gave him a soft smile and went to grab some things from their room. When she walked in, it didn’t even feel like theirs. Jobs had kept them apart for so long that they rarely shared it anymore. While she packed, he came up with slices of pizza to eat because despite everything that had gone wrong he was still one of the kindest men she’d ever met. Over dinner, they discussed what they were going to do about the apartment, about their things, and most importantly about Henry. Almost instantly they agreed to tell him together; they needed to assure him that although they weren’t in love, they still loved each other and would always love him. 

About two hours later, she gave him a hug that lasted an eternity and turned to walk out the door. “And JJ,” he said, waiting until she turned around. “Tell Spencer that he’s a lucky man.”

Her eyes must’ve shown her shock because he laughed. “What? It doesn’t take a profiler to see. Just promise to give the first woman I introduce to Henry a chance, okay?”

“Okay,” she chuckled softly. “I will.”

—-

When she walked up to Spencer’s apartment, she’d felt better than she had in months. A small knock roused him from his place on the couch. “It’s done,” she said quietly as he opened the door and walked into his arms. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” he said softly, pushing a strand of hair from in front of her face and behind her ear. “It’s you and me.”


End file.
